info@dignityindying.org.uk - 020 7479 7730

“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that decisions about the timing and manner of death belong to the individual as a human right. I believe it is wrong to withhold medical methods of terminating life painlessly and swiftly when an individual has a rational and clear-minded sustained wish to end his or her life.”Professor A C Grayling, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I see it as almost inevitable, that society will become more understanding, and more sophisticated, about assisted dying. As with suicide, it is right to strive to find better options, but when the alternatives have run out it must surely be wrong for society to insist that people suffer.”Nick Ross, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that decisions about the timing and manner of death belong to the individual as a human right. I believe it is wrong to withhold medical methods of terminating life painlessly and swiftly when an individual has a rational and clear-minded sustained wish to end his or her life.”Professor A C Grayling, Dignity in Dying Patron
“It is because we believe in the dignity and value of life that we hope for a good death. This is what Dignity in Dying hopes to permit and I passionately support its aims. To linger on against my will on a half-life is no life at all.”A.N Wilson, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I support Dignity in Dying because I care about suffering and want the law changed so that those who presently suffer terrible deaths will in future have the option to end their suffering through ending their lives at a time and in the manner of their choice.”Lord Joffe, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“Being incapable of helping a loved one to die when they are at the end of their life, suffering and asking for help is undignified and wrong, and I know this having witnessed it myself at close hand.”Zoe Wanamaker, Dignity in Dying Patron
“Having seen my father die, it became very clear to me that we as society need to grasp the nettle and deal with this contentious issue in a way that is humane and acceptable to the majority of right thinking people.”Matthew Wright, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a doctor for over 35 years, I became increasingly aware of the failure of even the best care to deal with the suffering of some patients. The present clinical, ethical, and legal fudge - and a law which is discredited in practice - is dangerous for patients and also for professionals.”Professor Raymond Tallis, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“My father, who was suffering from cancer and no longer wished to live, died as he chose: in peace and dignity, with my mother beside him. I passionately hope that, if I too were terminally ill, and was finding life unbearable, I could be allowed to die at a time of my choosing.”Rosemary Brown OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that decisions about the timing and manner of death belong to the individual as a human right. I believe it is wrong to withhold medical methods of terminating life painlessly and swiftly when an individual has a rational and clear-minded sustained wish to end his or her life.”Professor A C Grayling, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that decisions about the timing and manner of death belong to the individual as a human right. I believe it is wrong to withhold medical methods of terminating life painlessly and swiftly when an individual has a rational and clear-minded sustained wish to end his or her life.”Professor A C Grayling, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I see it as almost inevitable, that society will become more understanding, and more sophisticated, about assisted dying. As with suicide, it is right to strive to find better options, but when the alternatives have run out it must surely be wrong for society to insist that people suffer.”Nick Ross, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I see it as almost inevitable, that society will become more understanding, and more sophisticated, about assisted dying. As with suicide, it is right to strive to find better options, but when the alternatives have run out it must surely be wrong for society to insist that people suffer.”Nick Ross, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I see it as almost inevitable, that society will become more understanding, and more sophisticated, about assisted dying. As with suicide, it is right to strive to find better options, but when the alternatives have run out it must surely be wrong for society to insist that people suffer.”Nick Ross, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that the exercise of free will concerning the end of life, and the timing of the end of life, is an essential human freedom. I believe that while religious dogma may dictate or limit the choice of believers it should not be imposed on others.”Rabbi Dr Charles Middleburgh, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I believe that decisions about the timing and manner of death belong to the individual as a human right. I believe it is wrong to withhold medical methods of terminating life painlessly and swiftly when an individual has a rational and clear-minded sustained wish to end his or her life.”Professor A C Grayling, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I support Dignity in Dying because I care about suffering and want the law changed so that those who presently suffer terrible deaths will in future have the option to end their suffering through ending their lives at a time and in the manner of their choice.”Lord Joffe, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I wish to be treated as a responsible adult and believe that people should be legally able to register their wish for an assistance with suicide, if needed. I support Dignity in Dying primarily to help change the law on assisted suicide.”Sir Michael Holroyd CBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I endorse the work of Dignity in Dying because I believe passionately that any individual should have the right to choose, as far as it is possible, the time and the conditions of their death. I think it's time we learned to be as good at dying as we are at living.”Sir Terry Pratchett, Dignity in Dying Patron
“I see it as almost inevitable, that society will become more understanding, and more sophisticated, about assisted dying. As with suicide, it is right to strive to find better options, but when the alternatives have run out it must surely be wrong for society to insist that people suffer.”Nick Ross, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We live in a free society with all the choices that go with it. We choose when to marry, have children, what treatment we should have, where to live, who to consult for advice, in fact how we should live our lives. This should include the opportunity to choose the time we die.”Simon Weston OBE, Dignity in Dying Patron
“As a child there existed in my mind a nagging fear about this thing called death. As I have become older, I want to give an assurance to the people I love that the circumstances of their death will be 'good', to be celebrated, and their final hours will be reflective of life well lived.”Jo Brand, Dignity in Dying Patron
“We have no control over how we arrive in the world, but at the end of a life we should have legal control over how we leave it.”Sir Patrick Stewart, Dignity in Dying Patron

Read Personal Stories

Personal stories

NEW - Paul Lacey

My wife Kathy and I met at school in Oct 1965. She was 15 and I was 14. She was my first and only love. We married in 1972, and have 3 children. She was beautiful, smart, sexy and fun to be with. She loved life. We had in the past spoken about terminal illness, and promised each other that we would never let the other suffer in pain and would assist their death.

In 2009 Kathy complained of backache. Kathy had had this before, and it was either a water infection or maybe a pulled muscle. However, this time the pain would not go. She went to our Doctor in June 2009 who sent her for an Ultra-sound. This revealed a large mass on her right kidney. She then had a CT, and we both went for the results on 7th July 2009. Her consultant told her it was Cancer and had spread to her spine. She was admitted immediately as she was in a lot of pain and could not sit upright for any length of time. She had further tests and an MRI. On 11th July 2009, her consultant revealed to us all that this Cancer was terminal but he would do all he could to extend her life for as long as possible.

Kathy was sent to another hospital to have rods inserted into her spine as it was close to collapse. The operation was done on 18th July 2009 and was successful. I had given up work to care for her, and managed to get her home on 22nd July 2009. This was quite remarkable considering the scale of the operation, but was further testament to her resolve and willpower that she was able to stand. Kathy had 10 shots of radiotherapy in September to ease the pain. We attended various other appointments which were not easy as she had to use a wheelchair because her walking was limited. None of these appointments were of any use, and became the subject of a complaint later.

Throughout October 2009, Kathy had mentioned that it was getting difficult to breathe. On 29th October 2009 I called the emergency Doctor and Kathy was admitted to hospital with a large plural effusion. They tried to drain the fluid, but it was obvious after 18 days, and removal of over 2 litres of fluid that it was not working. During her stay in hospital, Kathy had stopped eating and was getting weaker I suggested that it would be better to stop messing her about and let her come home to die. This was the first time I realized she was close to death. Her morphine had been greatly increased, and she was quite comfortable.

Kathy came home on 17th November 2009. I had good support from the local nurses who had arranged for a hospital bed and other equipment to be installed in our bedroom. The nurses came regularly to check her auto-feed morphine, and our Doctor came daily to adjust the dosages. Kathy was very peaceful and slept most of the time. I would lift her onto a commode when she requested, but she could not eat and drink. It was during one visit by the Doctor about 4days before her death that she suddenly said to me "You promised me ". I had forgotten this promise we made many years ago, and it took me by surprise. I had no idea what to do or how to do it. I did not want to get it wrong or hurt her. Luckily for me she slept peacefully and died at 18:15 on November 29th 2009.

I later got her medical notes, and on 11th November 2009 Kathy told the nurse she just wanted to die now. This should have been the moment for the system to kick in, but it could not. Who has the right to deny a dying person the right to choose their time of death? What is the point of dragging out the inevitable? Luckily the last days of Kathy's life were mostly peaceful and without pain. Others are not so lucky, and this ridiculous system of denying a dying person their right to a quicker and more peaceful end, needs to be changed.

Paul Lacey, Basingstoke

Contact us

Should you want to contact any of the people featured in these pages, or wish to share your own story with us, please contact Jo Cartwright:
020 7479 7737 or 07725 433 025
jo.cartwright@dignityindying.org.uk

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