“No family should have to endure what ours did”
Malcolm Macdonald (77) speaks out after finding his wife of 52 years – who had advanced multiple sclerosis – deeply unconscious at home just six days after she expressed her dismay as the previous assisted dying bill fell in the Lords.
- Notes from the scene expressed his wife Val’s intention to end her life and her dismay at the current assisted dying laws; the cause and circumstances of her death remain matters for the Coroner. Val died on 4 May 2026.
- Malcolm was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder, held for more than 12 hours, and provided with no updates on his wife’s condition
- New Dignity in Dying report reveals terminally ill people are taking their own lives even while receiving specialist palliative care – while the NHS does not know the true scale of the problem
- Previous research estimates up to 650 dying people end their own lives in the UK each year, with a further 3,000–6,500 attempting to do so. This is in addition to the 20 people a day who die in unrelieved pain across the UK, despite access to palliative care and including in hospices
- Malcolm is urging MPs to vote for the Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill at Second Reading this Friday
A grieving husband whose wife of 52 years was found deeply unconscious at home just six days after the previous assisted dying Bill fell in Parliament is urging MPs to change the law.
Malcolm Macdonald, from Frome, has written to MPs ahead of the Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill returning to the House of Commons this Friday.
His story comes as Dignity in Dying publishes a new report ‘Out of the Shadows: Why legalising assisted dying is safer than the status quo’, examining the harm inflicted on dying people and their families under the current law. Among its findings is new data which finds that terminally ill people are taking their own lives even while receiving specialist palliative care, but the NHS does not know the true scale of the problem.
This lends further weight to the argument made by parliamentarians, experts and families that improvements to end of life care must come alongside greater choice for those who want and need it, and that no amount of care will relieve suffering for everyone as they die.
Behind this fresh evidence and analysis are devastating experiences like those of Val, Malcolm and their family. human Val had advanced multiple sclerosis and had discussed assisted dying with Malcolm over many years. A folder she left contained notes to Malcolm and their son expressing her dismay at the lack of assisted dying legislation and explaining why she felt she had to make her plans in secret.
Malcolm writes:
“From the notes she left, I believe Val felt that the law meant she could not safely discuss her wishes with anyone. She faced her situation in total isolation, carefully making plans and then putting them into practice alone in the middle of the night. The thought of how frightening and distressing that must have been will stay with me for the rest of my life.”
What followed added to the family’s trauma. Malcolm was arrested on suspicion of attempted murder and held in custody for more than 12 hours. His son learned that his father had been arrested and his mother was in intensive care only when he arrived at the family home and found police outside. Malcolm’s bail conditions required him to be accompanied by police officers when he visited Val in hospital. So, they were present when Malcolm and his son were at Val’s bedside and also when Malcolm and his son had deeply personal discussions with doctors about her treatment. Around 36 hours after Malcolm’s arrest, police confirmed that no further action would be taken and withdrew his bail. Val died on 4 May, 2026.
Malcolm writes:
“After 52 years of marriage, I was treated as a criminal rather than a grieving husband.”
Previous Dignity in Dying research estimated that up to 650 dying people in the UK end their own lives every year, with a further 3,000–6,500 attempting to do so.This is in addition to the 20 people a day who die in unrelieved pain across the UK, despite access to palliative care and including in hospices. Care is essential. But even the best care has its limits.
New Freedom of Information research found that, of 143 NHS Trusts and Health Boards responding across England, Wales and Scotland, only two-thirds recorded or had access to data on terminally ill people taking their own lives. Of the 96 organisations that did record the information, eight had recorded at least one suicide or attempted suicide among people receiving specialist palliative care between 2023 and 2025.
Sarah Wootton, Chief Executive of Dignity in Dying, said:
“Malcolm’s story is a devastating illustration of what the status quo can mean for dying people and their families: isolation and secrecy at the most difficult moment imaginable.
“Our new report shows this is part of a much wider problem. Dying people are already taking their own lives, including while receiving specialist palliative care, yet we do not even know the true scale because a third of NHS Trusts and Health Boards responding to our research do not record or have access to this information.
“The question for MPs is not whether the status quo is risk-free – it plainly is not. It is whether we continue with a system where desperate decisions are made behind closed doors, or introduce a safe, regulated process in which eligible terminally ill adults can speak openly, and have proper choice.
“The current law creates secrecy, fear and trauma. This Friday, MPs can replace it with honesty, compassion and choice.”
Malcolm concludes his letter:
“The Bill cannot undo what happened to Val. But it can offer eligible, terminally ill adults a safe and regulated process in which they can speak openly, receive support and have their wishes properly assessed. It can replace secrecy and fear with dignity and compassion.”
“Please vote for the Bill at Second Reading. No terminally ill person should feel forced to face their fears entirely alone, and no family should have to endure what ours did.”